Monday, November 24, 2008

Feather In The Wind

Lately, I have been obsessed with this one song. It's actually a Christian song called "Feather in the wind". The first part in the song got me thinking. It goes like this: "I'm a feather in the wind, I'm up and then I'm down again". If this is so, then we all must be feathers. Not literally of course. =)What I'm saying is we live our life filled with up's and down's. Our Faith? It's no different! How often do we feel strong, and completely in awe of God's presence because we feel Him? It happens! And when it does, we feel empowered, and great. It's a wonderful high feeling. But, what happens when we hit a dry spot and can't feel God there, or even hear Him? It's like we as feathers decided to finally hit the ground. It's probably the worst feeling in the world. We feel abandoned, alone, and frustrated. Which, is completely stupid, it's like we forget that even though we can't hear God, He's still there. It's like we forget that maybe He's waiting for us to be quiet, so we can listen to Him. Or, maybe He's testing us. He may be testing us to see how well we can trust Him. Why is it so hard to trust God? It's because we fall into the same trap every time. Satan likes to get us by making us feel hopeless. Last time I checked, God was more powerful than Satan. Last time I checked, prayer was used as a weapon to defeat Satan. Do not give Satan the enjoyment of watching you suffer through the feeling of hopelessness. There is always Faith, and through Faith there is strength and hope. The bible says to trust in the Lord, it also says to pray without ceasing. Remember in scripture, how the Disciples were out at sea? They were afraid, and weren't putting their Faith and Trust in God. It's almost comical though, how God reacts. He's like "O ye of little Faith!"
In modern day language: "Dude! Relax! I have everything taken care of." Another thing, we complain that we can't hear God…hmm, I wonder why. Maybe it's because we have forgotten that silence is beautiful. If you're IMing someone/listening to music/ etc do you think God will answer someone that doesn't have full attention on Him? Possibly. But, maybe we can't hear Him with all of the distractions. Those are not the only distractions. Life, is pretty much our distraction. Life is causing us so much noise up in our head, and making us lose focus from God. We just have to know when to turn it off, and give it up to God. Give up our struggles, worries, whatever may be bothering us. And hey, I'm no Saint. I'm still working on this myself. But I have found silence to be the most amazing and beautiful thing there is. Personally, I prefer silence during prayer, confession, and Mass. Coming from the Byzantine rite, I am used to everything being more silent. I'm not used to having bands, and all that. In the Byzantine rite there's always one singer, and no instruments. Silence does something though, it touches you in such a way to the point where you are in awe of God. I recently had a chance to go to a Latin Mass, and you know that feeling you get when something just feels right? It felt like that. Except, that's not all I felt. I felt like I was being hypnotized. I couldn't take my eyes off the beauty that was in front of my eyes. I remember, there were 10 alter boys, they were ALL in sync with each other. They all knelt and stood up at the same time. It was like watching a marching band, except for God. The funny thing? I've been to a Latin Masses before, but It's like it get better every time.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, silence puts me in the zone, it gives me a great high point.
How do you're know you're in the zone? You will know. When you're either smiling, or to the point of tears. When your eyes can't focus on anything else BUT Christ on the alter. And when it feels like it's just you and Christ, even in a church filled with 100 people. I'm daring you to enter more silence into your life. Too often we tune out God, and most of the time we probably don't even know it. So, why not change this? I know what you're thinking. "But Layna, what do I do when I'm at an event and there's loud music and stuff?" I have found other ways to "zone out". For example, if I attend Mass at a Jesus Jam, I'll focus on the alter/stare into the crucifix. And I meditate, until I can't hear a thing, except for what's important.
Meditating doesn't have to be a bunch of long prayers, it can be something simple like…"God, help me focus on You." and just say it repeatedly. Maybe that's easier for me because I have a very OCD mind. I get one phrase stuck in my head, and I'm repeating it in my head forever. But, the main thing, in the end you will have forgotten about everything else, and Christ will be the only thing left on your mind. I suppose that's all my thoughts for now.

Other than I find this really funny, I wrote about 2 ½ pages in my journal, and ignored 90% of whatever I wrote in my journal. And still wrote more than expected. When I write, I never stop. Alright, the song that I was talking about, you can listen to it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8X4i8YZPlQ&feature=related


God bless...

~Layna

No comments: