"I have found that crying hasn't gotten me anywhere. If it's suffering that I must bear, then, I accept all, Lord."

I apologize for my lack of writing.
I went to the March for Life which went very well. I'm all rested now.
I've also had trouble finishing things I've started.

Anyway, recently, on Facebook I had my status as:
"I have found that crying hasn't gotten me anywhere.
If it's suffering that I must bear, then, I accept all, Lord."

I'm going to get into that.
Today I'm going to let you get inside my head.

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Ever since I was a little girl, I've known about suffering. I remember days where I would complain about something and my parents would say things like: "offer it up". But, usually, that's all they would say. They never really went into much detail.
I still understood the whole concept of suffering. I knew it was an act of love.
All I had to do was look at the cross. I didn't need someone to explain it to me.

During my childhood, I was really into the martyrs. My favorite was St. Joan of Arc.
For me, she was a symbol of strength.

I think because of her, I became a strong, stubborn, and determined person.

But, as I grew older, I ran into obstacles. My life became more difficult.
In the beginning, I didn't turn to God when I suffered. Because of this, I became a pretty angry person. I didn't turn to God until I hit rock bottom.
It took a whole lot of prayer for me to change. And, I wouldn't stop praying until I reached change.

Now? Well, now I'm doing better. My Faith is strong.

My favorite Saint as of now is St. Rita. And I've been reading a book about her.
There's a part that I can relate to. Word for word.

"St. Rita meditated on the mysteries of our Holy Faith, but her favorite
meditation was the passion of Jesus Christ. Many times while meditating on
this great mystery she would fall into a trance, and on recovering her
senses it would seem as if she had been suffering a mysterious martyrdom in
the interior of her soul. She was also very devout to Jesus in the Blessed
Sacrament, and she made as many visits as possible to her parish church. For
she dearly loved to be near that fire of divine love, and never wished to
leave it."

St. Rita's favorite meditation was always the passion. It's always been mine, too.
When I meditate on the passion of Christ, I find myself aching more than usual.
Every time I meditate on the sorrowful mysteries, it hurts. Like St. Rita, I fall into a trance.
When I do, I don't really feel connected to the world. It's a weird feeling. Every time, I feel the passion happening--sort of. I feel like I'm walking, and I'm restless from carrying the weight of my cross. And I don't "snap out of it" until I feel the comfort of God--(Which is after I'm done saying the Rosary.)





By the grace of God, I have gotten over many hills.
But there are still heartaches that stem from situations I cannot control. I guess these things would be my cross. My "martyrdom".




I've come to realize that loving is not easy. It's not always a sappy and warm feeling.
Sometimes, it actually hurts.

Think about it, if you had a friend that did drugs, how easy would it be for you to love them?
I'm not in this situation currently, but have been. It's hard to watch the person you love waste their life away. Now, imagine it being hard to love...all the time.



Anyway, I feel called to suffer, to love, no matter how hard it is for me to do so, and to be an example.
I've always been fascinated by those that suffer greatly.
I've been tested so much in my life, and maybe this is why.

The journey won't be easy. I am going to need prayers.

Love Letter

I'm going to be starting a new thing.
It's just going to be me writing a love letter to our Lord. I think I'm going to try to do this every Wednesday.
__________

O Lord, I continue to see, Your abiding love for me. You stay with me, every day. You hold me when I cry. I look out and see, all the beauty which You have made. It's unfortunate how people hear your name, then fade. It's unfortunate how people can be so blind. But, I will always call you mine.

I've been through many struggles and heartaches, but through prayer, I've been renewed.
And I owe it all to you.
Thank you, Lord.

When people hurt you, they hurt me, too.
The pain is like a thorn in my side.
Humanity makes me cry. How dare you insult the man that I call mine.

I pray people make a change before the big sleep.
Hey all you people, the end could come in a week.

Lord, my soul is yours to keep.

I love You! I adore You!
Everything I do, I want to reflect You!
My only desire is to know You, love You, and serve you.

You captivate my thoughts.
My soul is overwhelmed and beating with joy.
I feel your presence all around me.
And in the air that I breathe.

Because all life is precious.

Tonight, I was able to witness a pro-life talk that was given by an amazing speaker, Bryan Kemper. And, none of my writings have been really focused on "hot topics" such as abortion. With the anniversary of Roe VS Wade coming up, I believe it's appropriate to write this now.

Let's cover some facts, first.

How many abortions are performed in America?

One out of every 4 babies conceived in the United States is aborted. In more than 14 metropolitan areas, abortions outnumber live births. More than 40 million abortions have occurred since 1973. Each year 1.2 million babies die by abortion.

Why are abortions preformed?

Women choose abortion for many reasons, but the most common reasons have to do with financial issues, the responsibility, fear, and the main fact that they aren't READY.

How can we avoid this?

We abstain from sex. I know what people are thinking: "What?!? Are you serious?!" Yes, I am. Because, quite frankly, birth control is not 100% effective. Nor are condoms. If you can't handle the responsibility of a baby, then you can't handle the responsibility of sharing something so special between a man and woman. The whole purpose of why many wait until marriage, is because they want to save it. They find it something special. They want to give their spouse everything. The issue with pre-marital sex and trying to use birth control is this: You aren't giving your partner everything. The whole point in sex is to give your whole self. When you say: "I just want to give you my body, and not the pro creating aspect of me" it doesn't work.

What about rape/incest?

First, let me just say that my heart goes out to those that have been sexually abused.

No one should have to go through that. Or any form of abuse.

And second, the percentage of getting pregnant by incest or rape is about 1%.

I'm someone that believes in other options, such as adoption. There are plenty of families that are willing to adopt, that can't have children of their own. As a woman that has a condition called: Poly cystic Ovarian Syndrome, I believe it might lessen my chance of having children. I'm not quite sure how fertile I am. So, to know that there's the option of adoption is wonderful.

__________________

I find abortion just terrible. We are living in our own modern day holocaust. Since 1973, more babies have died from abortion, than people that were killed in the holocaust. Did you hear that? Since 1973, more babies have died from abortion, than people that were killed in the holocaust. WHY? It's sick, and the only reason why we are 37 years into this is because nobody has taken this seriously. Nobody has been a voice. As Christians, we need to come together and BE a voice for the babies! We can put an end to abortion! But, we need to start somewhere.

We need to pray. We need to show others that we are pro-life. And, not only towards babies. But, we need to show love to those that are born and unborn. Even if they don't treat you with love, love them anyway. God has created life, therefore all life is precious.

If any woman got an ultra sound, they would realize that YES, in the womb there IS a baby!

And its life began at conception. When the sperm met with the egg.

______________

Month 1-

Your baby is an embryo consisting of two layers of cells from which all her body parts and organs will form from.

Month 2-

Your baby is about the size of a kidney bean and is constantly moving. Your baby also has slightly webbed fingers.

Month 3-

By now your baby is about 3 inches long and weighs nearly an ounce. Her tiny and unique finger prints are in place.

Month 4-

Your baby is about 5 inches long now, and weighs 5 ounces. The skeleton is starting to harden.

Month 5-

Eyebrows and eyelids are now in place. The baby would be 10 inches, if the legs were stretched out.

Month 6-

The baby weighs about a pound and a half. The wrinkled skin is starting to smooth out as the baby puts on baby fat.

Month 7-

By now your baby weighs bout 3 pounds and is more than 15 inches long. The baby can open and close its eyes, and follow a light.

Month 8-

Your baby weighs about 4 3/4 pounds now. The layers of fat are filling him out, and the lungs are developed.

Month 9-

By now, babies are usually 19 inches and weigh about 7 lbs on average. But, it varies.

_____________

You can't tell me that life doesn't begin at conception when ALL of this takes place starting from day one. You can't tell me that it's RIGHT to kill a human life.

How do you think the baby feels about this? They deserve a shot at life.

Please, be voice. Help bring an end to abortion.

Beauty in this world.

Continuing on sometime I wrote a little while ago....

We often complain too much. This is why we are never happy. We always are complaining about something. We can never be satisfied. Let's face it, this storm will never pass as long as there is evil in this world. We must learn to dance in the rain.



Because we complain so much, it's hard for us to see the beauty in every day life.
I think we tend to take advantage of so many things.

Recently, a terrible earthquake hit Haiti which has resulted in many deaths. Those that are living, are suffering and are living in poverty.



And even though what happed in Haiti is a terrible situation, I somehow believe that good can come from this. I believe that good already is coming from this.
I believe it's bringing unity. People are working together. People are praying.

But, moving on..

We're never satisfied, as humans.
We always have to have the latest gadget. We tend to think that as long as we have stuff, we'll be happy. In reality, we are trying to fill a void. A void that can't be filled, unless it's by God Himself. God is love, and He will fill us up.

God is everywhere. And, if we can try to find God in everything, then I believe we can be more happy. God can be seen in nature, because He created it.



Instead of saying: "I hate snow!" Look at how it sparkles when the sun hits it. Instead of saying: "I hate rain!" Imagine how things would be without it. Everything would die. It's a natural way to give plants a good watering.


There's music, and art, and books. So many things to remind us that life is beautiful. And of course, there's the Mass, the most beautiful thing on earth.


All humans withold beauty. Even if they seem horrible.
We should love them, as Christ has loved us. We don't have to be their friend, but we have to love them. Love them and pray for them.

Everything we do, we should do with love.
It's easy to complain, but complaining has never has fixed anything.
And loving just feels better! It warms your entire heart, until it's about to burst.

St. Therese Said:

"Without love, deeds, even the most brilliant, count as nothing."

So, love. Take the time to admire the beauty that God has created.
Try to find good in everything, as bad as it may seem.